There are things in life that I can honestly answer with, "I don't know." Because I don't. My "spirituality" for example; I don't know what to believe, or what's real and what is not. It kind of scares me.
Tonight, like most Wednesday nights, I attended Youth Group at a church my family has been attending ever since I was young. I've always sort of questioned the whole thing, and more so as I've become older. I just don't know. It's a complex thing. But, I figure that if I'm not exposed to multiple things like church and that type of thing, I can't really make a decision because I don't know what that's all about. Now that I'm a Senior, and getting ready to move forward in my life, I think I may have finally made a decision about what I think on this topic. So what happened tonight, right?
A droog and I had decided that rather than going to New York with the group, we would rather attending homecoming. We told our leaders our decision and were instantly shot with things that, really, I don't think is the "Christian" way to approach it. It's tough to believe in these things and trust these people when they have formed a paradox. The paradox being that they claim to be holy people, and free of judgment because only God can judge you, when I feel some of these people are the most judging people I've ever met. My droog and I were judged, and one of these people who are supposed to "guide" us and help us, flat out prayed to God asking him to help us make the “right" decision between the trip, and homecoming and that if we chose the trip to bring peace to us, but if not, that we would not have peace. That doesn't seem very "Christian" to me.
It's going to be very hard to return back there after being told that, and makes it even harder for me to trust and believe in this stuff.
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